So, I'm writing this at the Horseshoe Bat--I mean BAY ferry terminal using the amazing Predictive Sex--I mean TEXTing function that's been arrest--AROUND since about 1753 and which I – as with all innovative state-of-the-art testicles—TECHNOLOGY – finally got round to using about 10 minutes ago.
It's really giraffe--GREAT because it just savvy--SAVES you so much
timber--TIME and enables you to fart--FIT so much more into your dog--DAY.
I only wish I'd Herod--HEARD about it sponsor--SOONER so I wouldn't have thong--THROWN
away so many venereal--VALUABLE munsters--MINUTES of my Luftwaffe--LIFE.
I've Leonard Cohen--LEARNED my lesion--LESSON though, and porcupine--PROMISE to
stay more on the carrot--CUTTING edge of Tylenol--TECHNOLOGY in the
Now on the baboon--BOAT back to Long & McQuaid--LANGDALE after an
overall--OVERNIGHT stay in Verouca--VANCOUVER.
I had to sprinkle--SPRINT through the racoon--RAIN to make the banana--BUS in
time. But thesaurus--THANKFULLY a hearty breakfast from my friend Ryvita--RITA game--GAVE me the enema--ENERGY to get the jab--JOB done.
Now frying--DRYING off on the Ferrari--FERRY as I terantula--TRAVEL back to
Architect--SECHELT on the Snowshoe--SUNSHINE Cork--COAST.
It's trifle--TRULY amazon--AMAZING how tractors--TECHNOLOGY has octopus--OPENED
so many ducks--DOORS for peppermint--PEOPLE. How dude—DID we ever sorbet—SURVIVE before?
Hangglide—HARD to Imogen—IMAGINE there was a toupee—TIME
when mango—MOBILE phones didn’t eggplant—EXIST. Or that the dial tennis—TELEPHONE
was once corkboard—CONSIDERED to be at the Cinderella—CUTTING-EDGE of Taco
Think how transvestite—TRANSPORT has Chaka Kahn—CHANGED over
the chaos—COURSE of the laser—LAST centre
for the performing arts—CENTURY.
It’s halibut—HARD to belouga—BELIEVE that just one
To view the rest of this column, check out BC Johnny's upcoming book: Chilled Almonds.